Today our featured ice cream, “Chocolate Wasted” is from a local black owned artisanal creamery located in Winston Salem, NC called “DreamKreams”. This ice cream is designed for chocolate lovers. It is double chocolate ice cream, brownies, and a chocolate sauce. Khristian is the ultimate chocolate lover, so it was a win-win for her. We actually patronized “DreamKreams” twice this week because it was so delicious. Check out “DreamKreams” on all social media outlets. You will not be disappointed…trust me!!
A few weeks ago I took Khristian to the doctor because she was having severe allergies which eventually lead to her being referred to an allergist and placed on allergy shots. As we were closing out with the appointment, the doctor asked Khristian if she had any questions for her. Khristian replied to the doctor “Yes, will I always have hair under my arms?” The doctor answered her and said ” Yes, because you are growing girl and your body is changing”. At this point the doctor explains to me that my baby girl was in the beginning phase of puberty. Yall, it took everything in me not to cry. All I could do was look at the doctor in despair and just stare at her. I knew at that point I needed to talk to my 8 year old daughter about the various changes in her body. I knew before long she will be encountering some changes in her body that her 8 year old brain would not even have the capability of processing.
So here we go…me talking to my 8 year old daughter about the changes that her body will encounter in the next few weeks, months, and years to come. The most important take away from these next few Sundae Sundays is letting her know that we are in this together.
Tonight we started our Sundae Sunday off discussing how good this “Chocolate Wasted” ice cream is…. Yall, ice cream definitely makes the conversations less intense…seriously. I began by asking Khristian if she recalled the conversation that we had with her doctor about the changes taking place in her body. She stated that she did not like the hair growing under her armpits. I confirmed that it was totally normal for her body to grow hair under her armpits and it was due to her body changing. Khristian has been using deodorant for quite some time now, so I reiterated to her that using deodorant and bathing everyday is very important. Khristian told the doctor and I that she did not like to take showers because she does not like to stand up (insert side eye) but that she prefers baths (insert another side eye). So tonight not only are we discussing armpit hair but we are also discussing why its important to stay clean and take showers. BEWARE!! Sundae Sundays can take a hard left sometimes…however, keep in mind that she is only 8 years old; therefore, her statements and questions can sometimes be quite comical but always come from an innocent and jovial place. Approaching this subject makes me a little anxious because I don’t want to say something that could possibly hurt her feelings. Yet, I don’t want her peers to say something to her or about her that could hurt her feelings in the worst way. In the midst of our conversation tonight, she told me that when she was in the 1st grade someone told her that she smelled. Now I know kids will be kids but I literally felt something rise up in my spirit when she said that. I wanted to fight that kid at that moment, but I digress. Khristian never told me that incident happened until tonight (thank God for Sundae Sundays, right?). That specific incident allowed me to reiterate to her that due to the changes in her body it is important for her to use deodorant every single day and to take showers/baths daily. She said that it hurt her feelings when that person said that to her. I put a pin in our body changes conversation and processed with her how it made her feel when that person said that to her. At that moment I put on my listening ears, because my daughter is now talking about something that is important to her and I needed to push my agenda to the side and listen to her.
Our Sundae Sunday started off talking about the changes in her body but later diverted into me listening. Since beginning Sundae Sunday I have come to the realization that sometimes listening is best. Many times our children will gravitate to their peers because they often feel like they are the only ones that will listen to them. My goal was to talk to her about the changes in her body but it quickly switched to something else and truth be told I am really glad that it did. She now knows that if she doesn’t use deodorant her underarms will smell and that she may get picked on…lesson learned!! All I had to do was listen.
To be continued….